A life you could of [[had]]
compared to the life you [[have]]
lets go and [[explore it]] Knowing family at a very young age. They are there in the hospital room in which you were born in. They will always be there for you through little and big accomplishments. They have been there for you in your kindergarten graduation. They also have been there for you during your engagment and wedding party. There your neighbors. They live right across the street from you. You can come and visit them from the morning to night. They are only a few steps away from your house after all. Constant sleepovers and pizza made by your grandma every day. There is just a couple of [[ticks]]You wake up from a comftorable queen size bed, knowing that there is clean water that is ready for you. Knowing that when you are ready to microwave your yummy breakfeast burrito there is electricity on hand. When you go outside in the shade to eat your breakfeast burrito and drink your cup of orange juice for the day the only sounds that your listening to is that of blue birds chirping. When you come inside to start your online teaching job the internet is there and ready. The job that you have is enough to make a livable wage. However, there is just one [[problem]] about this lovely life.You don't know if your friends are alive due to constant wars that doesn't seem to stop. Your friends live in Khartoum so it's hard for you to know if they are okay or not.There is no stable [[internet]] that you can use to check in on your friends or family that lives far away. Your family that lives in America is constantly worried about you. Worried about if you have water, electricity, or food that day. The [[water]] that you use there is a possiblity that it isn't clean. When you use that water theres a possiblity that the light won't turn on, due to the [[electricity]]. You get a brand new [[oven]], since the oven that you have doesn't work at all. You try your best for this oven to work, but you don't even know how to turn it on, since it is in English. The job that you are always at work and is constantley busy with is barely enough to make a livable wage. It only makes you fifty dollars a month. That is why you not only rely on everyone around you, but you also rely on your family in America. The house that you live in also isn't properly closed. There is no roof, however there is a roof top. The houses not being properly closed makes it easy for theifs to jump through your home at any minute.You rarley get to see your family. [[Depression]] comes at you quicker, since you left your family. You cry almost every night, since you have been away from them. You rarely go back to visit them growing up. You only got to see them once every four years. Each visit was only for a month or less than a month. In months that the wheater over there is unberable. The wheater is so hot and the mosquito bits are the worst. It's worth it, since you get to see your family back home. The cost to visit them is very expensive. It costs over seven hundred dollars to go and see them. However, since you grew up and became independent you save your money so that you can visit them every year for four months or more.The internet if there even is any that day is very costly. To use the internet for one day cost around twenty dollars. Your parents don't have that type of money so you relay on your cousin and your uncle. Your cousin doesn't want to waste the internet and your uncle forgets to bring the router home almost about every day.
[[back->Start]]The water that probably isn't clean you use not only to do the dishes but to also shower. The water is filled with a dead mosquito and a little bit of dirt, but you have no other choice. It is either use that water or stay dirty. The shower and using the bathroom system is different. In order to shower and use the bathroom you need to fill up a container for the water, than use a cup to shower and to use the restroom.
[[back->Start]]The electricity cuts out almost every day. It typically cuts out for six to seven hours each day. They cut it out three hours in the morining and three hours at night time. When you fast during Ramadan it becoms hard, since you can't even drink water so your lips are constantley dry. All you see is the darknest captured in the heart of the people that close the electricity. It's not there fault though they are in the same shoes as you. On the days that there is continuous protest the power cuts for a whole day or at least a week. In order to charge your phone you have to go to someone that has a generator and pay them a lot of money to charge your phone and your family members phones. You try to buy a generator so that you don't have to spend tons of money in order to charge your devices, but your money doesn't even come close to how much a generator costs.
[[back->Start]]Every time you come back from a visit to your family depression hits you quick. You wish you were there with your family. You wish that you lived with them or that they live with you. When your at home you only have your mom and your siblings. Everyone at home is barely at home so to you the word home doesn't seem to fit. Over there even though the mosquito constantley were attacking you you felt a sense of family. You felt loved. My heart fills with aches everytime I travel outside of Sudan. The closeness I have with my family feels no longer there when i'm in America. There is new baby cousins that I still haven't met, since I live 7,459 miles away. Wondering every day how my family is but getting no reply until after two or three days due to the electricity. My heart being broken, since I can't live in Port Sudan. With my only wish being to live here so I can be close to my family even if that meant leaving my friends behind. Feeling depressed, since all the friends that I have made in Khartoum I rarley get to visit, since not only do I live in America but my grandmas house is in Port SUdan.
[[back->Start]]If you are living the way you have what could you [[explore]] in this world and for what reason?
If you are dreaming about the life you could of had what could you [[earn to explore]]and why would you go and explore those places?
Lets go and seeYou have more money then your family back home has
You could go anywhere in the world that you want to, but you decided to do what is best which is to save up money and to go and see your family back home.
You go and see your family that's back home, even though you could have gone to Egypt, Dubai, Kuwait, Qatar, or anywhere in the world that you want.
The places that you could have gone and explored to you will go and explore when you become an English teacher expat visiting the world.
These places also hold no meaning to you which is why it is okay for you to wait to visit these places. The money that you have is barley money. It is barley enough to live an enjoyable life, but that's okay. It's okay, since you have family here and the family that you have in America you can't visit. You have waited countless years to go and see them but you can't, because the embassy is closed. You do however can earn money with the family members around you to go and see reliable [[doctors]]. The places that you have visited are enjoyable, but you always have to earn money that you don't have to explore them.The oven that was spent hundreds and hundreds of Sudanesse pounds on came with the instructions only in English. You let your niece try to explain it to you, but do to her not understanding Arabic you still believe that the oven is broken. You already know that bringing in someone that might be able to fix it will cost even more pounds that you don't have. The pounds that you had left for your work trip to Egypt was already used up to buy a new [[air conditioner]].In Port Sudan the sun feels like fire. You try to go outside to shop for new dresses and shirts to go visit your family in the villeage with, but you can't. Even when you enter the inside of your home it still feals like you are on fire. In your home there is only three air conditioners and not nearly like the ones in America. They are the big chunky air conditioners that make sounds when it is on. In Port Sudan there is no good doctors in the state or in Sudan at all you have to travel outside to get proper care. There is no good hospitals in Port Sudan and there is also no such things as ambulances either. If you need an ambulance you have to take your car to the hospital. That is why you travel out of the country to visit doctors.